~*Spring add new to life and new beauty to all that is!*~

YESS!!! Another blog post =p. (mostly photo spamming..) 

I told you I had sooo much to catch up too! XD 

So last Sunday [1/05/11] I had organised a BBQ with my friends!! Which...I totally regretted doing...I HATE ORGANIZING!!  >=[ COS!! NEVER SEEMS TO SATISFY EVERYONE!! RAAAAAAAAARRR!! ¬___¬

To be honest, it was a simple job, but then some people had to complain. It's like that though =/ So one person was asking why does it have to be that location etc,etc. So I changed the place again. Some people where complaining that it wasn't organised enough BLAHBLAHBLAH...WHEN! They said they didn't wanna organise the BBQ, SO THATS WHY I HAD TO DO IT ¬___¬ I had to work as well, so really I didn't have much time to organise it. 

First of all the most important thing that was needed for a bbq was...the food obv XD. I didn't have a car so it's much harder for me to carry everything etcetc, when most of my friends know how to drive! So it's more convenient for them to just get the food...and no one even seemed to wanna get the food..=__=" So i had to beg my friend to get the food...(IF i had a car i would have done everything tbh...-___-" but this is why i need to pass my driving test grr!!)

What i Just kinda hated the most was that someone was saying I'm the one whose meant to organise it and get the blame for everything U___U" I had a lil fit with them and was soo annoyed when someone said why didn't ask for help to oragnise it, when they said they didn't want to organise it =/ 

*TAKES DEEP BREATH***sighh* OK rant over =p, Was just a bit stressful....

 So anyway we changed the location to my friends house instead! =3 I made Chicken Kebab...which..was kinda tasteless in my opinion lol, but people ate it anyway!! XD ( would have shown u my kebab..but i forgot to take a pic of it....**D'oh!!** 

BUT! I can show u our awesome home-made burger =p well my friends mum actually made it tbh lol XD I only chopped the onions...(which was retarded looking =/)

HAHHA! Yes...I can't chop onions =/ >__<.

I used red onions cos they taste nicer! Its much better than the green ones! MMM.

He he!! When munching on the burgers! I CANT EMPHASIZE HOW YUMMY IT WAS! It was like soo JUICY!! mmmmmm.........

See yeh, my friend! Don't you think he looks a bit like taeyang?! =p Just a lil bit? =] 

LOOK! ITS TAEYANG!! XD LOL My friend looks like shes trying to strangle him! 

Hahah do u kinda see a bit of a resemblance? =3 Just a bit when he smiles!

Anyway! Lets continue! So yeh quite a lot of people went and the sunshine was soo GOOD! As you know Scotland always RAINS! =[ Compared to England, its much colder since its up north. The sunshine lasted for about a week! It started to rain yesterday =[ 

Sunshine makes me VERY happy and cheery! It makes me wanna be more active when it rains it depresses me.

HAHAH when we was cooking the food...we burnt most of it...=/ 

....our burnt wings!! =[ 

Thats not all we burnt... 

XD no one ate them XD OPPS we forgot about them and the fire was burning too fast!>< SOOO therefore it got burnt to the max... 

Fake Taeyang and me!

Me and my other friend =]

I <3 THE SUNSHINEEEEEE!!! 

=] my pretty friend and I

with a bit of Lomo effect!

HAHA erm.. as u notice...my face doesnt even change in the photo and the position is the same =/ I really don't know how to pose in front of a camera now =/ 

I had huge eyebags cos of lack of sleep! >< 

these i would say are one of my closest friends =] <3 

Yes Taeyang is a PIMPER ;) LOL 

My friend brought his puppy over! Haha he was soo NAUGHTY!!! Practically ate anything that was  NON-EDIBLE!!! XD i tried to chase him when I saw him chewing on my friends peg!!! When I chased him the more he ran!!!!!! ¬___¬" His owner didn't care anymore cos it was hard to stop him!! XD LOL 

His name is Koby!! =] I assume it was from the Basketball player...

hehe! begging for food!

Omg!!! He was chewing on a cheese  slice wrapper!!! This was his second one..and the first one...he swallowed it =/  I think he musta did a massive poop that day HAHHAHAH

My friend kissed me with her BBQ mouth..=/U__U" yes I look very ugly T_______T"

An old Polaroid!! Sooo nice! I LOVE IT!!

How can you... POSSIBLY FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD TO BBQ!! MARSHMALLOW! Oh my DAYZZZZZZ!!! It is the BOMB! When melted in your mouth SOO YUMMY =P 

 The conclusion of this BBQ was: SUCCESS! =] Everything went smooth =] I guess I didn't know what to do in the beginning so it was harder for me to like organize....

Hmm after the BBQ we just hung out for a bit...and then went to get some dessert HAHAHAH EVEN MORE FOOD! I've gained weight from eating soo much last week =/ 

I got two scoop! It's ferro rocher and OREO COOKIES N CREAM!!! Looking at this wants me to go back and have some...

Dropped off my friend who had to go to work, so me and TY and other friend Lucy just chilled at TY's flat!! We just ended up watching "IP Man" (basically it's a Chinese martial arts/fighting movie, It's really good go watch it =]) 

Chatted and then got lift home!! =3 

Got more to say after this but I'll leave it for now...cos its too many photos!!

BYEBYE!! xoxo

~* URGGGHH!!!!*~

OK! im just gonna have a lil rant here!! Cos Im soo ANNOYED!! u__u" O.K. I'm one of these people who get quite sensitive with things >___< I don't know if im getting my period or what =/ getting sensitive lol. or maybe its an excuse...

But anyway, i talk to a lot of guys...I take the piss out of them and stuff...but it doesn't mean i FANCY them. Can't girls and guys just be FRIENDS?

I'm now scared that people think I'm flirty or am a slut cos i have a lot of guy friends or whatever. I like talking to some guys cos its easier to get along with them but it doesn't mean I fancy them right =/ Sigh...

the whole thing started cos people thought I liked this guy...hmm ok yes maybe I liked him a lil bit before I got to know him a  bit more and I didn't really... anyway then I talked to him like a close friend like how i talk to my other close guy mates..

So anyway this other guy thinks i fancy him etcetc...and saying kinda rude things...like how i want his C**k..(sorry for being rude but he said that ¬___¬) that kinda made me angry and it's RUDE to say that...so ignoring him etcetc

LOl told the guy if he thinks i fancy him but yeh he does...but i said i don't lol he got offended =/ oppsies... hes not a bad looking guy haha hes nice looking etcetc but yeh not my cuppa tea....O-o? I don't just go for the looks...i go for the personality as well...U__U" I think its important to have that "feeling" that "feeling" that u miss talking to them, and wondering what they are doing now and laugh at the convo u had in the past and giggle to urself?  etcetc...that i didn't have with him...=/

 BUT theres this other guy who i liked...hes tall, but not nice looking..>< but i told u I don't mind the looks i guess haha! He makes me laugh and stuff and get on well =p but he always LIES TO ME ¬___¬ like in a funny way though soo SLY he is!! The reason i liked him was cos he soo hard-working!! Very hardworking =] which kinda attracts me to him! Like he always studys etcetc for this job and hes got it now =] 

omg he met my mum the other day =/ EMBARRASSING!! >< but it was alrite haha had fun with him the other day though =] kinda made me smile a bit ><  always flirting with me in a way ¬___¬ sigh...miss him a bit... (YEH THIS KINDA FEELLING!!>___<) but its not good though cos hes gonna move to HK soon =[  

will tell u this in another post!!!

BUT yeh he can be an asshole sometimes i guess haha my friend's lil bro (whoes not so lil anymore hes like a giant!) said that "Why do girls like assholes, goes out with them knowing they are assholes, and then breaks up with them, goes back out with them and they are still assholes?!" LOOL quite fuunnny but true why do girls go with the assholes? LOL 

Anyway the whole thing is CAN'T GIRLS JUST BE FRIENDS WITH A GUY and not the whole world thinking u fancy him? =/ So this whole thing just kinda made me not wanna talk to him anymore cos people are gonna think I like him =/ which I don't, after I asked him if he does, hes like talking to me more =/ and being nicer...O_o so yeh don't know...SOO CONFUSING =/ 

urgh ma -fan!!!

anyways other than that!! Im gonna post about my fun adventure in London! =] and its gonna be photo spamming etcetc =] BE PREPARED 

ciao xxx

~*why i don't share my blog...*~

A few of my friends know I have a blog but do not know it...because I didn't want them to read it...Only a few of my friends know my blog...who I trust..

They do ask me why do I not show them my blog? Well, I don't have to show you it if I don't want to...I know it sounds nasty that im saying that but...they don't have to know everything about me...

There is a reason why I don't like to share my blog to my friends...because I have written some personal stuff in here. First of all, I'm scared incase they go and bitch behind my back, or laugh...not like I don't trust them but that is one of the main reasons...scared of how they react? Bitch about stuff I say or the pics i post up onto my blog?scared incase they go gossip about me? point out the bad things about me? Hard to explain...I think its ok where I don't know whos reading my blog cos you don't know me or wouldn't judge me I guess? Yes, I have insecurities...=[ 

I guess if they do find my blog one day...then I can't do anything but I just hope they don't laugh at the stuff I write or anything like that...I would think its very disrespectful....

In the beginning of the blog I just wanted to express my feelings after a very bad break-up with my ex...and I wanted to keep myself busy...but now I quite enjoy writing blogs =] it helps me clear my mind!! 

Hmm mind is blank atm...so I'll stop here! =] xx

P.S. if I do find out that someone is bitching or gossiping about me I will personally shove my size 5 foot up their asses...with my stilettos on... >=[

~*Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it..-Thomas Fuller*~

OMG! I just finished watching "Going the distance", it's got Drew Barrymore and Justin Long...the movie..was SOOO CUTE <3 loved it!^___^ It's more like a comedy/romantic film <3 so cute! I'm sure you guys will love it haha. I find Justin very cute XD, hes got this geeky, sweet face look to him!!! OMG got to check out his body in it too heheh ;)... let me tell u...he has one fine ASSSS LOL!! It was all shiny XD watch the movie and you will understand =]

Anyway, the movie is about the couple having a long distance relationship, and how they start to miss each other and everything... anyway I'm not good at explaining lol XD. I've had a long relationship before, and its not very good I suppose, when you can't see them when you want too and it does drive you crazy =[, things you wanna do together...Though, my ex was a big DICKHEAD!!!! and a BIG ARSEHOLLLLEE!!!! =] Yeh, he is the worlds biggest dickhead ever. But anyhow, long distance relationship is hard, because you don't know if the other person is cheating or not...and wondering what they are doing. You can't have the cuddles when you want too =[ or the kisses...but it will work if you do put your heart into it!! =]

The movie was : 8/10!

On the other hand, I would like to talk about relationships, I'm not an expert on relationships..but I'll tell you what I think about it. I wish some people who aren't ready for a relationship and they know that they aren't actually ready for one to not go into one at all! COS it's soo selfish of them, be nice to you when they want to be, or when they want something. Nasty to you when they don't need you...people are not toys...Or just wanting some action or something. In my last relationship, I just felt USED. When he wanted something, he's nice to me, when he doesn't he treated me like shit. He was a liar and a douchebag! I don't even understand why I even stayed with him...he actually knew he wasn't treated me very well, but I think I was just love blinded...I thought he was everything...but in reality he wasn't. I thought I saw a good side of him, but really...it wasn't. I believed he was a good guy deep at heart...but in the end he just...disappointed me in the end... My friends all told me he was selfish...and he wasn't worth it...I agree now...

What I mean selfish...for an example...We stayed in different cities for uni, usually it's me who goes see him, I make the effort to go see him. Usually when we go food shopping...I pay for the groceries..he doesn't say oh why don't we split it...or something like that. Sometimes, when we actually go shopping he makes me buy things for him. Ok, I might sound like I'm making him sound bad, but its the truth...I never asked much from him at all...just wanted him to care for me more. But really you can't force someone to care for you...

Sigh, I used to get upset..when I leave in the morning to catch the train, and hes just sleeping in the bed...doesn't even get up to see me off...Just leaves me to walk to the train station myself...You might think its nothing, but to me, it hurts that hes not even making the effort to do anything for me at all...

Yeh, that's it he didn't make the effort in the relationship. To me, he doesn't deserve a girlfriend at all unless he changes his selfish ways!! He think its ok to treat girls like shit!! but its not ok!!! I wish one day, he will get the same treatment to how he treated the other girls. I'm being nasty but I just hated what he did. I'm sorry if I seem like naggy old woman!!XD

Anyway! =] There's a video why you don't need a boyfriend! =]

Yah, thats right, I thought oo having a boyfriend makes my whole world complete etcetc neh, you just really need to love yourself, and I've learned not to put the person in front of you! You should be the priority number one!!!!!!! Thats my lesson learned defo!!! ;) So who ever thinks they need a boyfriend, or girlfriend....no you don't...you don't need someone to make yourself good!! Maybe the time hasn't come yet!! =], but yeh you will have lots of boy/girlfriends in the future!!  [ I hope someone is reading this ;), I hope you know who you are!!!! Heheh!]

LOL "CALM YOUR TITS!!! " or... "CALM YOUR MOOBIES"- if you are a guy...

ALSO!! he talks about break-up!!

He is soo right! What I said about, don't go into a relationship just for fun!!! Yep, what he said about after the breakup, I was blaming myself for everything, wondering why did he break up with me! what did i do wrong!?! But in reality, it wasn't me who was doing anything wrong, when it was him, he didn't even deserve me. I wasn't a bad girlfriend at all, I was very caring, done alot, ALOT of things for him. How did he repay me? Shattering my heart into pieces...never thought about my feelings at all...in the end what do I think? Hes not worth it! He did not treat me to how I treated him. Do you know..he had the cheek to tell me..a relationship was a two way thing...=/ (^&^&("!&^...made me sooooo PISSED OFF. Doesn't even know what I've done for him! 
 I wish, the tears I've cried for him, I could suck it all back in! Seriously, he doesn't even deserve a girlfriend at all. If he does, hope she breaks his heart!!! PFFT. 
Haha,  What he says is soo true though...lol...they are "ASSHOLEEESSS!!!!" LOL. But anyway, what he said, to him you might be worthless, but to other people you are "PRICELESS!!" Don't ever forget your value...=]

Okies, probs talked a lot of BS here...XD which doesn't make sense...=/ Just wanna talk about the past...cos he actually, hurt me so bad and just so angry about it every time I think about it..sigh....

ciao ciao xx